... there was a girl that dreamed of loving and being loved. But with her share of unfortunate relationships, she didn't want to rush things anymore. So she waited, and watched, and prayed, and waited more... That girl was me.
I grew up in a broken home - our father turned his back on God and on his family. I was the oldest of three sisters, our mom worked extra hard to make ends meet while trying to mend the relationship with our father. Mom was a devoted Christian, a woman of faith, a person who had more grace and warmth in her heart that anybody else I know. I say "was" because two years ago she went to be with her beloved Lord and Savior, after fighting a brain tumor. But her faith, her love for God and people made a huge difference in her daughters' lives. One thing she always taught us was trusting and obeying God. Mom and our grandma kept on praying about our future, so we girls wouldn't have to go through the same family situation our mom went through. I credit them for a good life my sisters and I have now.
So when I started dating, I was horrified of making a mistake. After a pretty messy relationship that left me empty and sad, I decided to take it even more seriously. Eventually I got engaged to a good Christian man who was an outstanding children's pastor and a youth leader. We both trusted our relationship to God and kept ourselves open to His guidance. It was a great time of growth, both spiritual and personal, a time of gentle and clean romance, a time I will be always grateful for. But as we were approaching our wedding date, we both felt in our hearts that God was leading us apart. Nothing went wrong, we just knew that God had led us this far but now wanted us go our separate ways.
I was perplexed, for a better choice of a word. WHY, GOD?! Hadn't I trusted my walk and my life to You? Wasn't it You who brought us together and encouraged us in our relationship? And then You decided to end it for us?! I struggled for several months, trying to somehow understand God's reasoning and to learn to trust Him again. The answer came rather unexpected. As I was working as a translator for an American team in one of the Ukrainian villages, I found myself highly involved in youth and children's ministry there. The people I worked with asked me whether I had any special training since, apparently, I had all the needed skills and the right techniques. Then it stroke me. Yes, I had the best training even! For the whole time I was dating that youth/children's pastor, I was at his side, watching, helping, learning. During that summer I was called to become one of the youth leaders in that village where I served until I got married and followed my husband to the USA. I will share our amazing, totally-out-of-this-world love story in the next post :).
God didn't make a mistake, neither He played with my feelings and my heart. He was simply working in my life in His own way, creating pieces of the mosaics which I was yet to see...